


I need you, I need you, I need you right now. Don't leave me alone.

by youngjusticewriter



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Introspection, M/M, Poor Spock, Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 07:25:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9873254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjusticewriter/pseuds/youngjusticewriter
Summary: It doesn’t matter in the end that this universe’s blue eyed James T. Kirk isn’t Spock Prime’s Jim. He still feels Jim-so familiar to his Captain, his Admiral, his Jim, his thyla yet so differnet, so angry, so broken - death.It should have been me(it had beenhimin his universe) is Spock’s first thought after he momentarily gets over the wave, the crash of emotions he feels. His next thought is: I am not fine.





	

It doesn’t matter in the end that this universe’s blue eyed James T. Kirk isn’t Spock Prime’s Jim (he's so familiar to his Captain, his Admiral, his Jim, his thyla yet so differnet, so angry, so broken) He still feels Jim's death. 

_It should have been me_ (it had been **him** in his universe) is Spock’s first thought after he momentarily gets over the wave, the crash of emotions he feels. His next thought is: I am not fine. 

He is angry. There’s fire in his old, weary blood. Not in the way of Pon Farr. Not in the need to mate but in need to be violent like his race was before Surak’s teaching. A need to see the light in Khan’s eyes disappear because he knows this is on Khan Noonien Singh. He’s also angry at his youngerself. He should have protected hi-their Captain better. He didn’t. 

Nor had him. 

The next emotion is guilt. If he had told his younger self more...maybe Jim, thyla would be alive. 

That thinking is wishful. Illogical because what was done was done; he could not change what had occured, his actions, his mistakes. That thinking is very human and so very not Vulcan. 

But Spock has come to terms that he is not Vulcan. He isn’t fully human either. He is just who he was. Only two people in Spock’s life fully, wholly accepted that. Loved that even. Now they are both dead and Spock doesn’t know how to live without them. His Jims.

**Author's Note:**

> It started as a headcanon I was writing this morning at one then it became a drabble. Also, I finally learnt how to use bold & italic on here. :)


End file.
